tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-937390557356997344.post423560529320172102..comments2024-03-22T03:59:39.188-07:00Comments on Dive into Worldbuilding: Wednesday Worldbuilding Workshop: Macro- and micro-groundingJuliette Wadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02879627074920760712noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-937390557356997344.post-73611334115316001682011-02-02T06:58:02.333-08:002011-02-02T06:58:02.333-08:00Nice. Thanks for posting. I agree, I got the impre...Nice. Thanks for posting. I agree, I got the impression of being outside looking in rather than being in there with him. Overall it's a great post.E. Arroyohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06634213563563094173noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-937390557356997344.post-32880995143566512112011-02-02T06:08:47.169-08:002011-02-02T06:08:47.169-08:00I second what you said about feeling lost about Be...I second what you said about feeling lost about Ben's location in time/space, though you articulated it a lot better than I would have done. <br><br>I also felt that the introduction of his profession was a tad heavy-handed-- would he really be thinking about his career advancement when he's supposed to be nervous about the actual job at hand? A better way might be to show him doing activities related to his profession (shadowing his target, getting his tools ready) or just stick to one sentence with emphasis e.g. He felt like he was on holiday but having a deadline to kill a man put a dent in that. Or something.<br><br>Overall I liked the setting details, the accumulation worked to show that we were in the modern world without instantly whipping out a cell phone or name-dropping bits of popular culture.<br>- Sophia.Sophia Richardsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17926811798176739307noreply@blogger.com